What did you and Jørgen do on Saturday?
Every Monday's the same. A full weekend report, -
- and a full panic: Am I the only one left?
I know what it is.
- I did it. - No way!
Only me left!
SHIT!
- Let's hear more. - From Göteborg.
- Sweden. - Did you fall in love?
- You got screwed by a Swede? - Get a grip!
- It just felt right. - I thought you believed in God.
You should have heard her...
Did you fall in love?
Don't be so deep, Bea.
- You wouldn't dare! - Really?
JUST BEA
Anniken was going to wait till she was 30, married, and had three kids.
And then she goes to Sweden and screws? Just "by the way"?
- Was it nice? - Yes.
Maybe I'm cursed.
She has done it. And so has she.
And she. She did it with Lisa.
Done!
Mia was cake no. 1.
She has always been first.
She probably made out in kindergarten.
Sara chose the wrong boy.
Or the wrong boy chose her.
Want more? I've got some volunteers here.
But she was cake no. 2.
Why did it turn out like this? I'm not anti. All I think about is sex.
I wonder what she sounds like when she screws.
Probably like a little pig.
Oink, oink.
- Am I obsessed with sex? - Obsessed? What am I then?
If I see a clearing in the woods, I think, "I could screw there!"
- Should I be ashamed of that? - No way.
This is what they should write about in the school paper.
- Bea can write about it. - Isn't that kind of personal?
- Personal? - What does Bea know about sex?
Anniken has just turned 16.
I am 16 and nine months.
I'm above the average age, and she's below it.
Anniken, a child of God. And I've always been so interested in sex.
You have to screw!
When I was eleven, I learned some things in the country.
My first French kiss was at age twelve.
And I came close with Thomas. I think.
Ready for wild and crazy sex?
Then there was Jørgen.
I like you, but nothing happens down there.
Sex is natural.
Everyone knows about sex. And we are everyone.
Sex - By the Way! Bea Løvås reporting
What were you thinking?
I didn't sleep with that Swede just "by the way"!
"By the way, can you fuck me?"
You asked me to write something in the school paper.
- Thanks for nothing! - I changed the names.
I never said I'd wait till I was 30, married, with three kids.
- It suits you. - Why do you say that?
"A child of God that screws like an angel." That was funny.
- Sara... - Where's your sense of humor?
It's true that I made out in kindergarten.
Whatever.
Next year we take over the whole school paper. Dream Team!
And then you can write about your own sex life.
- Lf you manage to get one. - Funny.
But that stuff about the sheep was hilarious. "You have to screw!"
It was!
The last slice of cake stares at me. Its expiration date is looming.
THE END
"THE LAS T ONE"
A short story by Bea Løvås
Was "Art of Writing" the name of the school?
- Is your application a secret? - Yes.
- It's embarrassing if I get rejected. - They liked your application.
I've been called in for an interview. I need a recommendation from you.
It's a good school.
I read it's the best in Canada. Maybe in America.
- Canada is far away. - Yeah.
And your parents are OK with this?
- No way. - Have you talked to dad?
No problem.
These scholarships are not easy to get.
But you can always dream.
The school board would like, on behalf of all the teachers...
That's all I had to say, but...
- I have to go. - Where are you going?
Our student council president would like to say a few words.
He's totally perfect!
Hello!
Everyone doing OK?
The Coke machine that was so brutally taken from us last month, -
is now back!
Where are you going?
Huh?
- The dentist! - The dentist?
OK. Everyone: "Goodbye, Bea, and good luck!"
Daniel Vik knows my name.
"I wouldn't mind being number two or three, but four?"
"The last slice of cake stares at me. Its expiration date is looming."
We just wanted to hear something you had written.
- Have you ever been published? - No.
- Just in the school paper. - This?
- No, are you crazy? - What do you mean?
This isn't funny. They'd think I was a jerk.
Writing can have its price. To dare to be honest.
We like to do part of the interview in English.
How the hell does Daniel Vik know my name?
I was about to say sex again.
Not because school has anything to do with sex, -
- but because I said it before, so that's what my head was focused on.
Get it? Let's rewind.
You say "school" and I say "write." I love to write.
That's why I have to go to Canada.
Hi, Bea, come and join us!
- Did you get the scholarship? - They don't tell you right away. Jerk!
- Did you sign the application? - Yes...
Don't you understand? This is what I really want.
But you're only 16, and Canada is very far away.
So you hope the interview went poorly?
Quite frankly, yes. I would be relieved.
What are you going to do if I get in?
How did it go?
The dentist?
No cavities?
- See you later. - Bye!
Did he really say "see you later"?
Yes, Sara. And that means, "wanna screw"?
- That depends. - On what?
On the way he looks at you.
I met Daniel at a party once. He seemed very interested.
I don't mean to be mean.
But maybe he's being nice to you just to get closer to me.
Look at that ass!
Like a muffin.
- Perfect. - Like a muffin. You just want to...
He's coming over!
I read your story in the school paper. It was funny.
- Planning to become an author? - I don't...
You can write a bestseller, make tons of money.
It would have to be to... to touch people's emotions...
Right.
I'm having a party on Friday the 14th.
Want to come?
Do you have other plans?
- Me? - Yes, you.
I'll check.
- Do. - Bye!
He's trying to pick me up.
Me!
It's just because he knows.
He's a virgin killer, out to take advantage of me.
No.
I'm taking advantage of him. Daniel Vik can change my life.
Here rests the Virgin Bea
Holy shit!
Bea, remember to ask if we can come to the party too.
Of course we can come. We're the Dream Team.
- Don't forget us. - I won't, Sara.
That's like forgetting your own children.
- Get a grip, Sara. - I mean it!
- Daniel isn't the only hot one. - Alex, too. Right, Sara?
Why bring him up?
- Don't dig up old stuff. - But you were so smart in Sweden?
Because you weren't in love. Smart!
What do you mean?
The first time sucks because you're so tense.
You don't want a disaster with someone you love.
- What do you mean? - Do you want Daniel?
Then there shouldn't be any crap between you.
But if you're in love, it will be nice no matter what.
And if it isn't nice, you can just laugh about it.
You're confusing her. I'm right about this. Your first time was a disaster.
It might have been better if I was in love.
- Alex is an idiot! - I'm just saying...
...everything will be great if you're in love?
She has a chance with Daniel Vik. Do you want to ruin that?
You and Daniel won't be a disaster. I'll see to that.
Weren't you in love the first time?
Head over heels.
But not with the guy I slept with.
The first time is just do it, and forget it.
Then the fun starts!
- What are you going to do? - I have no idea.
Do you know anyone?
What do you mean, anyone?
Yes!
I know someone.
What do you mean, someone?
- He comes here all the time. - Who is he?
A friend of my sister's. He's perfect.
He doesn't go to our school. He's 19, therefore experienced.
And he's cuter than he looks.
Are you serious?
Just forget about the coveralls. And the cap. And the moped.
- With a flatbed! - Why not just forget about him?
He isn't the dreamboat. Daniel is.
He works in a record store.
And he's fond of nature.
Wait here.
Where are you going, Mia?
Hi. I'm Karianne's sister.
Want to meet my friends?
No way!
- This is my gang. - Hi.
- He knows my sister. - A little.
Bea.
We should be going...
- I need to start planting these... - Whatever!
Do you want to test-screw him?
Bea, he's really nice. I wouldn't fix you up with an idiot.
You're home alone on Saturday. That's perfect.
- But I don't know him. - Exactly.
Listen to Anniken and have a boring life.
- And Amanda is home on Saturday. - Send her to a double feature.
A double feature?
120 kroner for the movies, plus taxi, popcorn and soda.
That will be 500 kroner. Forget it!
How much do you have?
I'll talk to Anders, and we'll chip in 100 each.
We're supporting a good cause. It's almost like Greenpeace.
Say yeah, baby.
- This is sick. - I agree.
Just close your eyes and think about Daniel.
- OK. - Good, baby!
- You said she was cute. - Sure, but...
It's just a date.
- A date? - A small encounter.
Just talk and see what happens. Maybe you'll want to meet again.
She talks about you all the time.
Please?
HE'S IN!
- What did you say? - "Wanna screw my friend?"
Get a grip! I'm doing you a favor. One hour, and he's gone.
Then you'll be ready for Daniel.
Bea, this is a good thing.
Say that it's good.
It's great.
Show me the money.
- 500. - We agreed on 600.
- Just kidding. - Funny.
They'll take you to the movies, and you take a cab straight home.
Shit!
Drink something strong, and head straight upstairs. Good luck!
- Hi. - Hi.
It was now, right?
Huh?
What time is it?
Time?
- I was supposed to come now, right? - Sure.
Want to go upstairs?
Sure.
Want to go in there?
Sure. Is that your room?
No, that's in the basement.
Cool CDs.
Is this you?
Cute.
Come sit down.
So you're 19?
- Sorry. - Go ahead.
- Want something to drink? - Yes, please.
"Let's get undressed." "I'm ready if you're ready."
"How about some sex?"
- More? - Yup!
- Can we change channels? - Go ahead.
Where's the remote?
What do you want to do now?
Hello?
I lost my purse! Everything's gone! I'm stuck outside the cinema.
- Just wait there. - Hurry!
I'm coming.
I'll go with you.
I just graduated from agricultural school.
Now I'm learning about plants.
Then I'm going to agricultural college.
- Eventually I'll be a farmer. - Oh.
Are you all right?
- I got this from her. - Thank you.
- Hi! - Hi.
- Is that your boyfriend? - Let's go home. Thanks again.
Are you really going to be a farmer?
- Do you have money for a cab? - Not on me.
He's cute! Isn't he your boyfriend?
- Give me a break! - Can I make a move on him?
I'm not allowed to be here at night.
The store owner has a lover. She meets him here sometimes.
- Gross! - A love nest?
Thanks.
Are you available? Wait here.
Don't push!
Drive her to 23 Leirfaret. I'll be home in an hour.
I'll let you stay up as late as you want.
- What's going on? - She was really tired.
Want to go in?
- I'd like to know more about you. - Why?
What do you want to be? What do you like?
I want to be a pig farmer.
I love the country. Fields and stuff.
- Give me a break! - I'm serious!
Mia... said you had talked about me.
Are you available?
Available?
- Are you? - I'm here with you now.
- I don't want to play darts. - Don't you know how?
- Why do we have to play darts? - Why do anything?
You play.
What are you good at?
Tell me what you're good at.
I'm good at watching TV.
The TV is broken. Come on. You can be red.
OK.
Find the key.
Shit!
Look at this.
Time for cock!
See what I mean?
Cramp! Shit!
Holy...
Holy shit!
- Oh my god! - How did you like my boss?
What did you like best? The animals on TV, or that?
Hard to say.
What's the matter?
I have to go home.
Can I see you again?
Could we go out again?
Come here.
Is it OK?
We can take it easy, if...
I've got...
Shit.
I've never done it before.
Never?
I've only done it once.
Once?
It didn't go very well.
Let's forget about it.
You've only done it once?
- So? - Aren't you 19?
You've never done it.
I'm only 16. That's not so unusual.
- I've made out a lot. - So have I.
At least we have something in common.
Did you come?
Bea?
Hello? Hi, Anders! Nice of you to call.
Did you have fun yesterday? Sure. Hang on.
Bea? At least she's awake.
Yes, she had a great time. She really likes you.
I'll tell her to call you.
You're dead!
Why did you say I had talked about him?
- I had to get creative. - He almost seemed in love with me.
Sorry. So I guess nothing happened?
I'm so glad this is the last piece of cake.
It tastes horrible.
- How was it with Anders? - Don't mention him.
He has served his purpose. "He exists no more."
- Time to surf. - I'm a little busy.
- Save it. - I'm busy!
Save it.
Now all you have to do is read...
...and learn.
Kama Sutra?
You may have done it, but you're no sex goddess.
- Was it a disaster? With Anders? - Don't mention him!
No. Not really.
- Can we focus on Daniel Vik now? - I wonder how many girls he's had.
At least a dozen. If not dozens.
"Among embraces we find Vrikadishrudha."
- Vrikshadhirudha. - That's what I said.
Mia, this is ridiculous.
Knowledge is power.
- Fine, let's try it. - No.
- Yes. - No way!
"The man stands up."
"The woman places one foot upon his foot."
Christ! Like this!
"Then she raises her other leg to the height of his thigh."
"Against which she presses it."
"Then she encircles his waist with her arms and presses him forcibly."
- Press me forcibly. - I am.
Like this!
"And kisses him as if sucking the water of life."
No way!
Hi.
I have my aunt's convertible tomorrow.
Can I pick you up around 5 p.m.?
Yeah.
Bea, I want to be you.
"While she holds... his neck."
There.
Was it good for you, too?
Bea, you have a visitor!
- Now? - No. Tomorrow.
Is he here already?
I should have called first.
- Say hi! - Hi.
- Take off your jacket. - No.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Maria. - Anders.
- We're having a celebration. - What are we celebrating?
- It's Beatrice's name day today. - Who is Beatrice?
Bea, of course. Come on.
Come on, Beatrice.
- What do you do, Anders? - Anders is going to be a farmer.
- Almost as good as a pig farmer. - Is that what you want to be?
Pig farmers have to get used to living alone.
Bea's going to writing school in Canada.
She doesn't want to live with us anymore.
- When? - We'll have to see.
What will you do if I get admitted?
- But... - But?
You always had a way with words, dad!
- We don't want you to leave, Bea. - And I don't fucking care!
- Knock it off. - Let's talk about something else.
Like what, mom?
- When are you leaving? - Yesterday, if I could.
This cake tastes like shit, mom.
- Give me a break! - It's delicious.
It's the same cake I've made every year.
Do you really celebrate name days?
My parents are crazy about celebrating. It's a royal pain.
Let's just take off.
Go somewhere.
Let me see who that is.
Are you coming?
- Turn it up. - It's loud enough.
- Can my girlfriends come? - Sara can sure come!
Of course.
Is there anyone that wouldn't want to be Bea Løvås right now?
MONDAY
Call Anders!
Bea!
TUESDAY
WEDNESDAY
THURSDAY
Anders called
I think about you too. All the time.
FRIDAY
- Pick one, and you get all four. - Come on in.
- Why did you choose me? - Because you're worth it.
"Because I'm worth it"?
Huh?
- Vrikshadhirudha. - Huh?
Never mind.
OK... Some music?
Where are you going?
If you leave, I'll follow you. I want you.
- Why? - I'm in love with you.
I want you. Don't you want me?
- Woof, woof. - Huh?
- Don't you like it? - Of course.
Sorry. Thank you.
Congratulations.
Good night.
I need something to eat.
Thanks.
- I should have called you back. - Yes, you probably should have.
- What are you up to now? - I don't know.
Want to...?
OK.
I thought maybe you had left.
Sure, but why do you write?
I just have to, or else I lose my perspective.
We don't want that!
How about you?
What do you have to do? Dig in the soil?
Or be up in the air.
To get the right perspective.
In the air?
- Come on! You get ten meters up. - No way.
- First that branch... - I get sick just thinking about it.
- I'll meet you halfway. - No, I'd die.
- I'm confused. - You're in love!
I was with Anders yesterday.
- What do you mean by "with"? - I was just with him.
What do you mean?
- He's better looking than you think. - You're dating Daniel Vik.
We're happy about that. We're going out with Bronc's boat next weekend.
I'm not going to miss out on that because you're confused!
Did you sleep with him?
Who is that?
This is like in a movie.
- Does it have a fridge? - Yes. And a freezer.
- A life of luxury. - Cool enough.
- Hi! - Hi...
I'll get a coffee.
You all right?
- Pinball? - Sure.
- Want to do something afterwards? - No, I can't.
Can't you just leave?
Huh?
Bea?
Bye-bye.
Take the next ball.
Cool!
- What are you doing? - You write great.
- You mean it? - You should become an author.
Want to hear a secret?
I've applied to writing school.
For next fall. In Canada.
Canada?
I've just...
Then you'd have to leave me.
I've only applied. The others don't even know about it.
Don't you want to be with me?
- Bea! - Close the door!
- The water's boiling. - Say: I want to be with you.
- Lf I get the scholarship... - The water's boiling!
- Say it, so he'll shut up! - Shut up and close the door!
I want to be with you. Get out!
Sure. You belong with me.
- Sugar and milk? - Yes, please.
Gross!
- To the beach! - Come on!
- Now? - Yes, now!
- Come on, Bea. - OK.
Don't spill in the seats.
I wrote poems when I was ten. Real spacy stuff.
Get your foot down! You'll stain the seat.
There's still that Swede.
- Did you fall in love? - I don't know. It's complicated.
I think you're in love with whoever you're in love with.
- Huh? - I think you're...
Hot dog?
I just don't get it. Why Canada?
- What about Canada? - Haven't you heard?
Bea is going to Canada to become an author.
You can do that here. If it were hockey, I might understand.
- Are you going to Canada? - No.
- Are you? - Enough about that.
- Come on. Let's go for a swim. - No. I want to sit here.
- Why didn't you mention Canada? - Guess.
Are you in love?
It doesn't seem like it. Don't let him get tired of you.
Or else you'll be out of the cool gang?
- The Dream Team? - That's not what I mean.
Am I dating Daniel for you?
Fine. Go break up with him. Show me how independent you are.
OK.
Where are you going?
Wait, Bea!
Daniel, can I have a word with you?
Go ahead.
I break up.
That's the third time I'd said those words.
I was going to dump you anyway.
Huh? Were we dating?
Are you stupid?
No one breaks up with me!
I'm the one that breaks up!
- What have you done? - Stay out of this.
You have to control everyone: "Love him, screw him..."
- You don't know what love is about. - You're so cute.
You don't.
- You've got a serious problem. - Do I?
You're nothing but one big problem!
At least I'm not your problem anymore.
Bea?
Did I say come in?
Can I have your room when you move to Canada?
- It's bigger, and... - I'm not going to Canada.
Did you break up with Daniel? He wasn't worth keeping.
- But Anders was nice. - Get out, if you value your life!
- Say hi from me. - Get out!
Anders!
Anders?
What are you doing here?
I was stupid. I made a mistake.
Sorry.
You have to mean it.
I was an idiot. Forgive me.
But what can you expect from someone like me?
I'm so bad.
I am a total failure.
- Are you? - Yes.
I don't think you're that bad.
A little, maybe, but not...
Climbing all the way up here to apologize...
That wasn't bad.
And you're going to Canada.
I won't get in there.
We had some good times.
Yes, we did.
Maybe I'll call you.
Maybe I'll answer.
To: Mia Subject: Short story
Hi, Mia! Read this if you want! Bea.
- Hi. - Hi.
- Can I sit down? - That isn't up to me.
It wasn't funny.
What?
Your short story.
No.
- Why didn't you mention Canada? - I won't get accepted.
I think you will.
It wasn't funny.
But it was awesome.
Are you serious?
And now you have your own experiences to write about.
- I just wanted to help you. - Thank you.
- I'm seeing someone. - Someone?
- Just the two of you? - Just the two of us.
- Who? - A guy.
I don't know if it's love. I don't know what love's about, right?
What?
Can I have your room?
Please?
- Sure. - Canada!
Keep an eye on that, don't forget what to do at the airport, and...
- What are you doing here? - I just wanted to say goodbye.
Bea?
- Bea! - What?
It's just my girlfriend.
She ate a spoiled Wiener schnitzel.
Yes...
Yes!
- Would you like some? - No thanks. I'm fine.
I'm great!
Subtitles: Fredric Fischer